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The End of the Teens

I turned 21 yesterday.

Yes, Yes. Thank you very much. And yes I know I can drink officially and all that jazz.

But that's not what this post is about.

This is about a nagging feeling of disconnect that I'm feeling right now. And though this started off as a birthday post, I have a feeling it's going to end up as something else.

Despite the awesome build-up I got about turning 21 and my own over-excitement. I am feeling pretty letdown about the whole thing. I guess I expected fireworks and some kind of great revelation. Which I'm sure is pretty stupid of me but it is what I anticipated. And it is the way I feel. Irrational or unwarranted or idiotic thought it maybe.

Overall, it was a pretty good day with people wishing me from the 3rd through to the 5th. And I absolutely revel in attention. People I never expected to remember and care enough to take the time out to wish did.

I went out for dinner in the night, exams from the 7th, remember? But it was a really nice dinner with family at 5Spice at Pali Naka, Bandra with Crispy Hunan Chicken, Malaysian flat noodles and Chicken Mangolian Pot Rice. And to finish off with an absolutely scrumptious Chocolate Chip Fudge Cookie, which was so good,I had to be restrained from licking the bowl.

And now that the spotlight isn't on me anymore, I just feel old. I'm 21! Me! 21! And if you know me well enough, you will know what I mean. Hell, for my 19th birthday, my friend gave me a tshirt that said 'Hyperactive Kid Inside'. Get the point?

But I digress, I am now 21 and not too happy about it. I'm at the end of my teen years and I am now an adult. And expected to behave like one too. * Sob*. Next year I'll be 22, then 23 and before I know it I'll be 30. Not that there's anything wrong with being 30 but it just seems so old. I want to go back to being 16-17, in my first few years of college, all wide-eyed and innocent.

And to add to the misery, my effing exams are on exactly 2 days from now. TWO! And I am still absolutely uninterested in giving them. Though I have been studying. But not with a great deal of interest.

On a happier note, my family is coming over today for what will turn out be a hell of a noisy dinner with much laughter, rude name-calling and leg-pulling and some absolutely atrocious, make-you-want-to-kill-yourself puns. But they are my family and I love being around them, despite occasional flashes of irritation that I might have. Also there's Goa to look forward to next week, plenty of sun, sand, surf, seafood and lots of cheap alcohol. :) I'm leaving on the 14th with Mynie and some other friends and like she says, the bunch that has meant the most to me the most over the last three years and who's support I cannot do without. And it will be an awesome trip I know that.

Now if only I can get out of this blue funk I seem to have sunk in.

Oh well, here's to great gifts! :D

P.S : To EP & MF, I love you more than I could ever tell you and thank you for making this birthday so special. I'm wanting more litchi and caramel cake now. To Goa and all the memories we have together.!

Comments

ess said…
Hey Whispers. Wish you a belated happy birthday. And good luck for your exams. I'm sure they'll go great.

If you're wondering where I turned up from, I found your blog thru moo's
Inexplicably said…
Many happy returns of yesterday ! :)
Nirmal's Blog said…
wish u a great year ahead..
Homecooked said…
Oh....I am so jealous of you.U are going to Goa...well who can study dreaming of Goa :) I hope u had a great time on ur bday.And no need to think about 30...its still a long way off.Bah....I am going to be 30 in 2 years....*sob*
Gentle Whispers said…
@ Ess & inexplicably : Thank you so muc. And also thanks for dropping by

@ Nirmal : Thank you too.

@ Homecooked : Tell me about it! I'll be looking at my books and thinking of Goa. :D.

And don't worry I'm sure you'll still be a very cool thirty year old.
the mad momma said…
happy birthday sweetie.. for what its worth - you unfortunately dont come across as a kid. you come across as a lovely young lady (yeah I know i'd hate having that said abt me - but there you go)

hope the year ahead is a blast - and errr. i'm going to be 30 this year so really I need your sympathy :D

hugs and God bless...
Gentle Whispers said…
@ The MadMomma : Thank you ever so much. I should show this comment to my mum. She still thinks I act like a 2 year old. :D. The year's been going pretty well so far.

And like Ive said earlier, you're way cooler at 30 than I think I ever was at 18!!
karmickids said…
Babe, belated happy bday to you. And why is a young child like you reading an old fat woman like me?

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